Studying vs writing papers

Our education system

I stopped studying 20 years ago. This was when I wanted to study, was smart and was very young. I stopped due to various reasons - not being able to afford higher education, culture and tradition of getting married early, lack of opportunities and some reason due to racism (this is a topic for another day). Not being able to study made me heartbroken and I remember holding on to my books for years hoping to return to school.

While I travelled, I hated when everyone asked what my profession was, or what I had studied because I really felt incompetent. But I never stopped learning. I joined an online course to study early childhood education when I taught at school. When I wanted to get into the job market in Dubai, I went for a short course in airport management with Emirates. When I worked in an interior decorating company, I did short courses online and was ready to study further and learn more.

Thus, I love learning, diving deep into the job I am working at, and always wondering how I can increase my value there. But there always remained a hole inside me, the hole that I did not have a degree, had never gone to college, and did not have a proper career path. Meeting a partner with a few Masters on his hands definitely did not do good for my self-esteem. The gap inside me just increased and the need for that piece of paper started taking more space in my head.

Luckily for me, an opportunity arose, and with a lot of support from my partner and his family, I quit my job and started the journey of my dreams. I signed up for an undergraduate degree course in the subjects I love and adore and jumped right in. I loved the course material, reading around it and using that knowledge in my volunteering work and everywhere else.

What is sad is that the education system doesn’t give you much scope for creativity and pursuing the direction of your interest. Often you’re given exams to write to regurgitate what they have written. You have papers and essays to write only to follow guidelines and use what is already present. So now, here I am loving the content of what I am studying but struggling a lot with writing papers and exams. Wish me luck while I have two months to complete my second year. The fact that I reached this far, feels quite an achievement so I am surely proud of myself.