Listen

just listen!

I have been for the past few days having extremely vivid and disturbing dreams. All my dreams have had me waking up frustrated, angry like as if I was present there in real. And all of them have had me trying to say something calmly, then frustratedly, then angrily but yet not being heard! All of the times, the people ignoring me, have been men!

The frustration of the patriarchy is now creeping in my dreams and is leaving me waking up with this sense of helplessness and anger. WHY CANT THEY JUST LISTEN?

From me having to repeat the same thing over and over while organizing the yoga events with other men, to having a friend trying to set her boundaries at work over and over again with men stepping over them all the time. From having to remind my partner of small things over and over again to trying to draw boundaries or seeing people being harassed even after saying no just over and over again.

It is tiring! I am not surprised at women now saying they don’t need men. I am not surprised at women saying they don’t want to get married or have children. I am not surprised at women saying we’ve given up and found happiness in other things. It’s not because they don’t need or want men, it’s because they are tired.

In the olden times, when women spoke up, they were shoved into mental health asylums (i am not making this up). Then women started fighting, the feminist movement came through. Now they are just put against each other losing themselves in which version of feminism can I agree with. But you know what’s the common theme in all? They just don’t want to LISTEN! What do women want? Oh, who cares? They shouldn’t just scream the way they are! What do women need? Oh, we don’t care. Their health - not important, their pain - not important, their rights - oh not important at all! But if they shout and scream for it, oh man they are a nuisance, let’s get them to shut up!

Last night my dream involved a man manipulating and then ignoring me. When I confronted, he laughed and joked about it and ignored me and became the favourite of everyone around while completely ignoring the fact that I asked them to leave. I politely asked, frustratedly spoke and also screamed and shouted. Nothing! He just didn’t budge. I woke up feeling this anger that I have felt too many times when I have been ignored.

So while working this frustration of mine, this is a small poem for the men to listen to the women in their lives:

Listen to when we talk,

when we explain and when we teach,

Listen to when we make funny sounds,

and faces and when they sound super cringe

Listen to when we sing to you,

and show you love and care.

Do listen.

Listen to when we cry,

when we set boundaries and

when we show frustration,

Listen to our un-comfortabilities and

our hmmms and nos.

Listen to our hesitant yes, and our sighs.

We’re getting tired of saying it.

Do listen.

LISTEN to when we shout,

when we fight and cry out of exasperation.

When we scream and shake out of anger.

Because we have said for so long

but you dont want to.

Just listen

LISTEN especially when we ignore,

and stop fighting and give up.

Listen to when we stop caring and

living life on our own terms.

Listen to when we say we don’t need you,

because maybe we don’t

but we may still want.

How hard is it to just listen?

And not just hear without listening but listen.

What does she want?

What does she really want?

LISTEN!