Last Newsletter of the year
I am off on a holiday and I know I will not be consistent with writing on here, so let’s take a break and reconnect back after New Year’s.
I know that your social media will soon be filled with people posting what they achieved this year, how much they travelled, or all their lovely pictures. Hell, I might do that too at some point. But somehow, I feel no one really talks about the struggles that they overcame. So here goes mine.
This year has been a tough year yet in some ways fulfilling. I have panicked a million times over my papers and have had panic attacks. I have cried a few days before submission and really wondered why I got myself into this. After all of the panicking, I still chose to do 2 papers this semester to try and finish it off by next year and I am not going to deny that it is hard!
This year has also been the toughest year for my relationship. We have had fights, fall-outs, lots of conversations, lots of silences, a lot of pain, cries, hurt and regret. We have also had to do a lot of work on ourselves and on our relationship together and I hope that these struggles have made us stronger and more deeply in love.
Also, this year has been a transformational yet difficult journey in my career. The most fulfilling though! From a random conversation, I started teaching yoga. With not much understanding of the local crowd, I tried and tested different timings, different styles, and different price points. Somedays I got a really good response and would have 3/4 people in class. Many days I have gone to find an empty class and cried there alone wondering if I was doing the right thing, or if it would really work. Today, I have students who are upset that I am leaving for the holidays because they will miss the classes.
I also had the most challenging yoga studying experience. Not only was it physically so hard, but it jolted me emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Many things I didn’t agree with, and many things I did but questioned. It was nothing short of an inner quest of sorts. There are no complete answers I have for myself, but I do realize the knowledge has given me more questions to ask and more self-contemplation to do. The more I teach, the more I learn. The more I seek, the more I understand.
Apart from all of this, this year has also been extremely challenging for my menstrual health. After being diagnosed with fibroids last year, the pills felt god-send and no periods for 6 months was amazing! But this year, the dosage ended, the period pains, the mood swings and then the irregularity of it messed me up so much. I am now coming to terms with it and slowly adjusting my schedules around it but it is not fun to suffer fake period pains for a whole week only to bleed for 2 weeks after.
Despite all of this, you can make out the growth in this year. And of course, I am now a yoga teacher! Even saying that feels amazing! I am in the last year of my undergraduate degree and I have never felt more connected to my body than now. I am becoming physically strong with regular practice and teaching, and I am definitely trying not to abuse my body in any way. I have made great friends, and value them a lot in my life. I have traveled to gorgeous places and experienced nature in its most beautiful forms. I have learnt, grown, loved and ready for doing all of that and more next year!
Happy holidays, and follow my Instagram if you would like to see my holiday adventures. Even if you don’t, I love that you have read my newsletters and supported me so much! Keep reading….