Cold milk or hot..
Have you lost your choice?
I made a salad with a few olives in it the other day. When I served it, my partner picked olives from his plate and put them on mine. “Don’t you like olives?” I asked. “Oh I do, you just didn’t have any in yours so I put some from mine.” I was touched and felt that was sweet but I knew I would do the same for him too. I didn’t think much of it until I came across a wonderful reel on Instagram that talked about how the girl loved chicken and the leg pieces of the chicken. But now, after getting married, she wouldn’t get to eat them because they were served to her husband first. A friend shared a similar experience and how it brought tears to her dad’s eyes when he saw that after marriage, she would now eat the least favourite part of the chicken instead of the best. Amazing for her, her dad realized and has now considered her mum’s choices too! But how many women are really left with no choice in food after marriage? Even if they are the ones doing all the cooking?
This reminds me of the time when I was very weak, thin and frail right after my marriage 19 years ago. The elders would order me to drink milk for strength. I didn’t complain because I loved milk. But when we moved to a new country, the only milk sold was the boxed one and I absolutely hated the taste. Every phone call home used to start with the same complaint and end with the same complaint that I don’t drink milk. One day, after such a call, I was told off and told to go drink milk right then! I couldn’t say that I didn’t like the taste, so I took a cup of milk and heated it in the microwave with some sugar to make it edible. When my ex-husband saw that, he threw the cup and the milk away telling me off as to how dare I drink milk in any other way than I was told to (which is plain cold). I remember feeling absolutely terrible and drinking the cold glass of milk like it was medicine with tears running down my eyes. I could not imagine not having the choice to even have milk my own way. I then learnt how to drink milk that way and never revisited that episode.
Be it the leg piece of the chicken, a few pieces of olives, the crust side of the cake, the middle portion of the bread, or whatever you like, do have it unapologetically. Sometimes we tend to give the best to our children, or our husbands out of love and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with doing that once in a while. But when we disregard our choices and think they matter more than we do, we make ourselves smaller. And that is not okay!
Yes, I know we do change some choices after living with them. I would definitely still be a vegetarian if it wasn’t for my partner. He would still continue hating salads if it wasn’t for me (or so I want to think). The point is, our food choices will change just like everything else - but are these changes because we’re disregarding our choices or because they’re better for us?
The reel is thought-provoking and absolutely beautiful! So, I’ve shared a link below for you all to see.
Have you given up or changed any of your eating habits after marriage? Please do share!