Are dating apps places to find friendships?

or organic meetings work better?

Dating apps are the modern way of finding connections, meeting people and dating. I met my now husband on a dating app 5 years ago, I found a job through the dating app, and I made an amazing friend who introduced me to the magic of meditation. To top it off, I even got featured on the Citizen through meeting someone on a dating app! So trust me, I am not complaining when it comes to dating apps. It is a tricky place to be, especially now that I am married. People find it terribly offensive when I say I am only on the app looking for friendship. But to me, especially living in isolation far away from town, not working and studying online, the probability of meeting people to make friends reduces drastically.

Thus, me and my partner are both on dating apps to meet people. My partner though has had a lot more success rates than I have. When he tells girls he is there for friendship only, girls are more than happy, loosen up and very quickly become good friends. Some friends have become like family. I have met most of the girls he has matched with. On the other hand, it is quite tricky for me to make good friendships through them. You agree to meet, but they say I was deceiving by telling them I was already dating or married and yet being on a dating app. Most of them think you want to cheat on your partner. Men usually don’t take it at face value when I say, I am only there for friendship. And while I have met amazing people there, it is much harder for me than it is for my partner.

Yet, somehow it feels like meeting people through dating apps is so much better. Even with all of its challenges. Now I’ll tell you why. Although nothing beats meeting people organically, somehow this modern way of meeting people feels a lot safer. A few weeks ago, while the bed bug saga was going on, I got so tired of not sleeping well that I checked into a hotel for a night. The owner, or manager of the hotel was a young sweet guy who loved to talk! We talked for hours about books, psychology, relationships, cooking, interiors and design, and even stocks! At the end of the conversation, the guy very casually says, “Oh if you weren’t married, I would’ve dated you.” It felt such a terrible way to end the conversation, and I firmly told him that well he doesn’t stand much of a chance now.”

A few days ago, he asked to meet and I was more than happy to oblige. Who doesn’t want food over good conversations? So excited, I planned a lunch meet and we sat there and talked for a few hours. Unfortunately, this time, the conversation was about how he thinks feminism is just a reason to spoil women - and that led to a very deep passionate conversation. Obviously, I would not let that slide. I left the conversation fuming, upset but also feeling kind of disoriented after the ‘bye hug’. It felt a little more than a friendly hug and it left me kind of disgusted.

This made me think that sticking to making friendships over dating apps was much easier as you can set ground rules before meeting people rather than being friendly with strangers who take being friendly as an open invitation. Why can’t men make friendships with women? Why is everything so sexualized?

Anyways, while you think over that, I have consciously decided to look for girlfriends because I want more girl energy in my life! They’re way cooler and safer!